Large Families and sustainability

Having 7 kids is not the norm these days and it's amazing how 'not being in the norm' opens you up to people's comments and opinions. Over the years I have heard many such comments, but there is one that I have heard on occasion that is the most insulting. Some people are subtle with their wording, but others come right out and say it... "Don't you think it's selfish in this day and age to have so many children?" With such limited resources on this precious Earth, how can we choose to add to that drain, over and over.

But the funny thing is, every single days I see examples that it is just the opposite. It's vacation week here in Fitzville, and that always means extra kids at the house. The other night, some extras were at the dinner table with us. I noticed several times that non-Fitz kids regularly reached out for 2nd and 3rd helpings without thinking twice. I also noticed the occasional horrified look on a Fitz kid's face. Being one of 7, each of my kids have had it drilled into them that you always ask, always make sure there is enough to go around. Though neither Fitz or I was ever the star math student, our kids' math skills are extraordinary. Put any amount of food on the table, and they will instantly know the number of servings available and how those servings can be equally divided.

And it's not just food. Any resource available will be divided in their heads, making sure everyone gets their fair share. It's an amazing skill in this day and age. As much talk as there is today about sustainability, it seems to contradict the current philosophy of our culture... "as long as I get mine." It's amazing to me to look around America and see that while family sizes have decreased over the years, the size of everything else has increased. Sure our family drives gas guzzlers, and sure we been questioned on how 'eco-friendly' our vehicles are. But you can't just look at MPG. How about the PPMPG... or the persons-per-miles-per-gallon? With 9 of us in our gas-guzzling van we don't look so bad compared to the mom with the one baby seat in the big honking SUV. Then their are houses. We live in a smaller sized cape compared to the houses in our area. All four boys share a bedroom. The girls share as well. But drive down most area streets, and you will see 3000 sq ft houses occupied by 3 or 4 people.

Growing up in a large family naturally trains you to be aware of others, to make sure everyone is taken care of. The greatest factor in sustainability is sharing, and what could ever teach you to share more than growing up in a house with 8 other people? Add to that growing up in a large family living on teacher's salaries, and you've trained 7 kids to make do. I don't feel like we are taking from the worlds' supplies, I feel we are adding 7 people to it who will know how to take care of it more than most.

And here are those 7 kids, sharing a birthday cake for Kaleigh, at the brand new kitchen bar made from the recycled beams of a 200 year old house.

Such a long way we've come...

Several years ago, I posted about Pipo starting wrestling. For us, the major reason for wrestling was to teach Pipo how to lose well. His sportsmanship was severely lacking back in those days, and when he showed an interest in wrestling we jumped at the chance. It helped that Fitz is a wrestling coach, and was overjoyed to finally have a son show an interest.

It didn't take long for Pipo to learn to lose with his head held high. And it's a good thing he learned quickly, because his days of losing didn't last too long! Another outcome of the whole venture, was that I turned into an obsessed wrestling mom. I admit it, I love every moment of it. And this year, with all three boys wrestling for their school team, with their Dad as the coach... I am in wrestling heaven.

Yesterday took the cake though. Pipo and Charlie had a middle school tournament. They both did well, coming in 2nd and 4th respectively. But the highlight of the day was during the awards ceremony, when Pipo's name was called for a sportsmanship award. Such a long, long way we've come!

New friends

We'll start with the biggest story of our year. This is a story that needs to be documented for later years, as it is unique in and of itself, but it also reveals so much about the personality of E.J.

Last March, we headed down to DC to visit Uncle Jim and Aunt Chris. As usual, we made a stop at the zoo, one of our favorite places down there. We always laugh at how our kids are just as excited about the petting zoo type animals (goats, sheep, cows, etc.) as they are about the lions and tigers. This visit, they spent quite a bit of time watching the alpacas. Having spent a month in Peru, Kaleigh was quick to relate her experiences.

Once we got back home, Charlie seemed to have the alpacas stuck in his head. In typical Charlie fashion, he started hyper-focusing and spending huge amounts of time researching alpacas on the internet. It wasn't long before he found alpacas on Craigslist. He mentioned this to brother E.J., who had been saving up money to purchase an ipad at the time. E.J. quickly did the math and realized he could purchase a pair of alpacas for the same price as the ipad.

When he first came to me with this idea, my reaction was the expected "Are you crazy?!?! Don't we have enough live beings around here?!?! Who will take care of them? Where will we put them? What will they eat? Where will they go in the summer?" E.J. calmly listened to me rant and rave, listened to all my questions and then gave me all of his logical, practical, so-very-E.J. answers. Then I pulled out my ace-in-the-hole... "What about your ipad." He quickly and seriously replied that he wanted to do this instead. And this is what stopped me. How many 13 year old boys out there would choose 2 alpacas and all the care that comes with them over an ipad. And how long would he be thinking this way. So to the utter bewilderment of all of our family and friends, I said "Okay then."

Before long the boys were out back converting our old shed into a barn complete with a hayloft. They were building fences and planting pasture grass. They were researching Massachusetts alpaca farms, and talking with camp about bringing the alpacas with us for the summer. This was really happening. And last April, they arrived. Spitfire and Melvin. E.J.'s two new best friends.

Each morning now, I watch as my son bundles himself up for the 6am cold, and trudges outside to break up the ice on their water buckets, give them fresh grain, and spread their bedding hay around. He is out there after school, shoveling frozen manure, and cleaning their barn. He never complains. He never procrastinates. And I never once regret saying "Okay".

Coming back...

My husband has been reminding me lately that I have not blogged in over a year. So here I am, trying to remember how to even work this thing. I have a new look, let's see if I can find some new words. So much has changed in a year, and so much has not. Life is still as hectic, crazy and fun as it ever was, but I am determined to find some time to write again.

They Believe :)

It's been months since I have posted. I have almost come to a point of just letting this blog go, but tonight just needed to be preserved somehow.

We were just driving home from our annual Christmas eve family gathering at Fitz's brothers. On our way there, just before we got to their neighborhood, we saw several deer in the road. It was amazing timing, and there was much animated conversation in the back of the van that Santa must be pretty close if he is just letting the reindeer run around the neighborhood!

On the way home, all the kids were chattering away excitedly together. Pipo was especially in a hurry to get back, as he wanted to check Norad, and see where Santa was. He still absolutely, without hesitation, believes. It is amazing to me that it was 5 short years ago that we were celebrating our first Christmas with a new son who was fairly sick, fairly frightened and fairly confused about all these American customs. To say he has adjusted well is a huge understatement. Not to say it was all easy... it wasn't easy by any means. It's amazing to look back over the years and think what we have all been through. But through it all one thing has been constant... the faith and trust Pipo has in everything, especially us. With everything he has been through in his young life... he has always had an amazing inner strength that I envy. He believes that things that will work out, he believes that God will take care of him, he believes that there is good out there, when he has witnessed so much more bad that most adults have.

And tonight, he believes that Santa is out there making people across the world happy. And I find myself watching the skies myself, listening for sleighbells. It's contagious... I believe.

Inside the mind of a 9 year old...

(all said in one fell swoop, without even a breath in between.)

Emma: “So, we have a game Saturday, it’s far away, but I am not playing goalie. You know, some caterpillars are fuzzy, and some aren’t, but they are all squishy when you run over them with a bike. And by the way... who invented socks?”

That’s how we roll

Today we spent seven fun-filled hours at Canobie Lake Park, chasing our dare devil children from one ride to the next. Now I like roller coasters as much as the next person, but I must admit my favorite ride came at the end of the night. Reclining in the old leather seat, the heat coming off the floor vents taking off the chill of the night, the hum of the old diesel engine lulling me into pure contentment.

Fitz often laughs about my deep attachment to our old bus. I know it’s silly, but I have many good reasons to be so attached. Whether it’s the crazy story of how we ended up with ‘Old Blue’, the memories of a 12 day trip down to the Outer Banks, the many summers spent at camp, middle of the night thunder storms sending kids scrambling out of tents and onto the bus with us, or the warm Spring night last May after walking all night in the Relay for Life when I climbed onto the bus at 2am exhausted and found eight bodies sprawled in every available space. All these memories have one thing in common though. Togetherness. Nothing brings our family together like that old bus does. There is no better feeling in the world for me than lying awake in the middle of the night listening to all 9 of us breathing in the same space. I know we are all safe, I know we are all happy, I know we are all together.

Tomorrow our oldest, Kaleigh, leaves for college. For me it feels like the beginning of the end of that togetherness. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not sad at all. In fact I am excited for her, excited for all that she is going to be experiencing in the coming years. But I’m realizing that my mother duck days of sitting on my nest full of eggs is coming to an end. We are starting a new chapter here in Fitzville. The first of the Fitzlings is flying the nest. She’s done an amazing job of teaching her younger brothers and sisters to fly, and I know in the coming years we will be watching each of them make their way into the world.

Someday it will just be Fitz and I on that bus. I joke with him about selling the house, and spending our golden years driving around, taking turns parking in each of our kids’ driveways to visit our grandchildren. But I am only half joking. I’ll need that old bus more than ever then... if only for the memories like today, driving home from an amazing family day with 7 kids sleeping behind us.